The healing process

The healing process....I'm not really sure what that entails.  I sure never imagined it would be this difficult.  I find myself crying at times that I can't even explain and angry at things that I should not be angry at.  I get jealous when hearing about friends going to have a bite to eat together or seeing them talk in the halls.  I never knew that I could hurt this much and for this long - I know it has only been a month, but it feels as though the pain will never go away.  

Life has just gone on, but all I want to do is sit and reflect.  I want to remember.  I want her back.  I want to hear her voice again.  I long to hear her laugh!  I imagine her calling me - I check my email and still hope to see one from her.  I know it sounds silly - I just feel like this is all a really bad dream.  I want to wake up and find that my best friend is still here.  I want to wake up and find that the world is the way I remember it.