Back to school

It's that time of year again...the start of a new school year!  I love this time of year!  I need someone to give structure to my life.  As much as I love summertime and sleeping in and just being plain lazy, I am ready for a schedule.  

This new year means that not only do I get a new group of kids and parents to minister to but my children are a year older.  Kori Kate will be in the 3rd grade!  It just amazes me at how quickly she is growing and changing.  She'll always be my baby, but to look at her...she's a girl...a beautiful, sweet, smart little girl.

And Bailey?  Well, this year brings another blessing in that I get to have Bailey in my class since she will be in the 5th grade!  Her last year in elementary school!  It blows my mind!  She's like a little adult - very smart and observant, such a good friend, wise beyond her years, yet still a silly little girl who loves to play and giggle with the best!

I pray that God will equip me to equip these children and that He will grow my girls into strong women who long to be close to Him!

Update

It has been awhile since I've written anything.  Every time I sit down to write, I think that I really need to move on and write about something else other than Angela, but that's just what is still heavy on my heart.  

I am finding joy more now - joy I thought would never come.  God is doing incredible things in my life and in the life of my family.  You know what?  Angela has had a big part in that - God is so good and is still using her!  

I have always found comfort in music - songs are incredible tools to bring back memories or give me that extra bit of courage I need to keep on keeping on.  I also really like feel-good tv shows like 7th Heaven.  The other day I was watching an episode and Lucy sang this song that was SO what I was feeling, so I googled it (gotta love Google!) and found the lyrics.  Maybe if you have lost someone you love, this song will speak to your heart like it did mine.

Angel by Beverly Mitchell

Have you ever met an angel

Whose smile is like the sun

Whose laugh is like a melody

That reaches everyone

Have you ever hugged an angel

Swept up in their embrace

And swear there's nothing in this world

That makes you feel that safe

(Chorus)

Have you ever really loved an angel

Once you have you'll never be the same again

Have you ever had to let go of an angel

Say goodbye, let 'em fly, my angel, my best friend

Have you felt the strength of an angel

When you need it the most

Lifted by those gentle wings 

You know you're not alone

Every now and then I feel the peace inside

Wherever life may take me, I'm guided by that light

Have you ever really loved an angel

Once you have you'll never be the same again

Have you ever had to let go of an angel

Say goodbye, let 'em fly, my angel, my best friend

Cause I have really loved an angel

How could I ever be the same

Cause I have had to let go of my angel

Say goodbye, let 'em fly, my angel, my best friend.

Happy Day

Today was just a great day in church!  I am so thankful that God has led us to Connect - it has been such a wonderful place for healing for both Scott and I.  Today was no exception.  The worship was incredible and the message applicable - the service ended with the song O, Happy Day - which is the song that closed out Angela's funeral.  The same guy that sang at her funeral sang today, and he is just incredible!  Yes, there were tears, but behind those tears was joy knowing that she is worshiping our Lord and that every day is a happy day for her.  

Mother's Day

Tomorrow is Mother's Day.  I am so blessed to BE a mom and have two of the most beautiful (both inside and out) girls!  They are so much fun to watch!  I am thankful that God has allowed me to teach at the same school that they attend - it is such a blessing to not only work at the best school in the world - but to get to see my kids all day long!  What more could I ask for?

As thankful as I am to have my family with me, I also have such a deep sadness knowing that Angela is not here to celebrate this day with her family.  She was such a great mom!  I pray that God will give her girls something really special tomorrow to bring joy to their day - a joy that reminds them of their mom and how very much she loved them!

Change

Change seems to be something that is happening a lot in my life lately.  Change can be good, but it can also be very difficult.  God never changes, which is the one thing that is comforting to me right now.  My marriage is another thing that brings me great comfort - knowing that through good times and bad we are in this thing called life together!  I am truly blessed!  And finally, my friends give me great comfort during hard times.  I've been feeling quite sorry for myself lately because the one friend I would turn to right now is no longer here, and it has left me feeling very lonely and empty.  However, God is showing me through this time that I have to learn to lean on other friends and that ultimately Scott and I must lean on Him.  

We'll get through this trial, and we'll be stronger for it!  I am in awe of all that God has brought us through so far, and have faith that He will do it again!

Relay for Life

Friday night I did probably the best thing so far to help my heart to heal.  I participated in the Relay for Life and walked in honor of Angela.  I went with my good friend, Meredith.  The whole night was just amazing...emotional...memorable...special...uplifting...healing...I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture.  Meredith and I went together to talk about Angela and share our memories of her.  She was very close to their family - lilke another daughter to them - the girls' babysitter since the youngest was just a baby.  We cried, walked, shared, and best of all laughed!  They played a lot of 80's music as we were walking - I couldn't help but think of how much fun Angela and I would've had singing along.  This is definitely something that will be a part of my life from now on.  

I pray that through events like this that we can raise enough money to find a cure for this horrible disease so that other children, husbands, wives, and best friends don't have to go through this much pain.  Cancer touches us all in one way or another.  I don't know if I knew anyone with cancer when I was a young child, but my children know a dozen people who either have it or have died trying to fight it.  I would be lying if I said that didn't scare me.  It terrifies me!  That's why I think that events like this are so important - not just to remember those who have fought and won or have fought and lost but also to make us all aware of how fragile life really is.  Live each day to its fullest!

Live...Laugh...Love

Something Cool!

I read something in this book that I'm reading that I have never thought of before.  In Psalm 6:8-9, it says, "Go away, all you who do evil, for the Lord has heard my weeping.  The Lord has heard my plea; the Lord will answer my prayer."  In the Message, it says, "At last the Lord has heard my sobs..."  I'm a pretty simple person.  I accept things just the way they are and don't question much.  My faith is simple - I like it that way.  So, it shouldn't surprise me that I had never thought of this before - God hears our tears and they become our prayers!  Wow!  I just LOVE that!  I have shed many tears in the past two and a half months.  There were times where I felt badly for not praying more than I was, but to know that my tears were heard by God...He knows my heart, of course, so why wouldn't He know my tears?